Your heart swells when you glance at your Macbook, and you get into panic mode when your iPhone 6s is nowhere to be seen. Ah, you merely left it on the desk beside your…iPad Mini 4. You browse the internet for the release date of the next iPhone and hope to get a glimpse of ‘design leaks’.
If the description sounds completely natural to you, you may be an Apple addict. Read on for the symptoms of your addition, and get tips on how to get yourself cured.
“It’s just better” is your final cry of justification
You have probably gotten yourself into these discussions before. In fact, your social circles know that in addition to avoiding sensitive topics like religion and politics, Apple vs Samsung is not the best conversation topic to have when you are around.
Not that you’re anything like a fearsome debater with solid arguments. Your friends are just sick of your wimpy battle cry of “It’s just better lah” when you have nothing else to say to defend the premiums you gladly fork out for an iPhone.
“To queue or not to queue” is… not a question
Your normal 15 minute-snooze ritual has no place on the special day of the iPhone launch. Heck, not even the haze. You join your fellow Apple fans at indecent hours in the morning so you can get your hands on the best thing that ever happened to mobile phones since the removal of the retractable antenna.
And if you don’t want to be caught on national news, you consider paying a poor student to queue for you.
You are so sure that this version is so awesome you probably don’t need to …oh wait
You are absolutely sure that you are not an Apple addict and that this new baby in your arms will probably last you for at least two years and up to an eternity.
But when the iPad mini 4 came out you realised how incredibly cumbersome and heavy your iPad mini 2 was, and you finally figured out what was causing that faint dull ache in your wrist. So you go out and buy the iPad mini 4.
Apply the same process to all other Apple products.
Because look at how pixelated all the other screens are
You were never into graphics and design. But hey, who knows, one day you might pick it up, and there’s absolutely no way you can illustrate for Pixar with anything but a Macbook.
But for now, you revel at how amazing your food photos look on your screen, and can’t imagine how dull your eggs benedict would look on some Dell, or HP, or whatever.
If any of the above four speaks to you, you may be wondering why there hasn’t already been an Apple Anonymous support group. But take heart that you (hopefully) haven’t considered selling your organs for an iPhone, or any of the other bizarre things listed in this article.
Here are a few tips that can help you regain balance in your life.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the buzz word these days, and it can certainly help you with your Apple addiction. Every time you find yourself wondering when the next release of the iPhone will be, simply be aware, and gently let that thought go. Soon, you will realise that the thought of the next big launch will no longer leave you in a state of uncontrollable desire.
Seek help: It’s time to tell your family and friends about what they’ve been trying to tell you- your Apple addiction. Enlist their help and give them full authorisation to stop you from joining the annual queue.
Be open: Get your HTC, Samsung, and even Xiaomi friends together (because you label your friends according to their smartphones) and have an honest and open discussion about how other companies have already caught up, or have long surpassed Apple.
Control your urge to lapse into the “It’s just better lah” argument (See Symptom 1).
Go cold turkey: This one is a little extreme, and should be done under the loving supervision of family and friends. Either go on a technology-free retreat and get connected to nature for two weeks, or swap your Apple products with your friends. That’s right, swap your Macbook Pro with your friend’s Lenovo, your iPad for a note pad, and your Apple watch for a Casio. After a couple of weeks, you will slowly come to a realisation that… your life is fine without Apple, and your bank account will start looking healthy again.
Written on a MacBook Pro.
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